Merry Christmas !

“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.”

• Shirley Temple.

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For something a little different this year, we asked ChatGPT to pen some festive carols. See what you think.

Away in the markets

(to the tune of ‘Away in a manger’)

Away in the markets, no profits to find,
The bulls are all snoring, the bears waltz in kind.
The indexes tumble, the traders despair,
While CEOs whisper, “Just bail out; who cares?”

The crypto is crashing, a wild, frantic spree,
“Just hodl!” they tell us, “It’s still all Web3!”
The memers are laughing, the hedgies all weep,
The Federal Reserve says, “Inflation’s too steep.”

The IPO darling has sunk like a stone,
The analysts stammer, “Who could have known?”
The SPACs are all fleeing, the SPY’s in retreat,
And Reddit’s now planning a short-squeeze repeat.

Oh traders, take caution, don’t lose all your cheer,
Remember to hedge for a prosperous year.
The market may teeter, but one thing is true:
A Santa Claus rally might come to save you.

O Little Town of Volatility

(to the tune of ‘O Little Town of Bethlehem’)

O little town of Volatility,
How wild thy markets swing,
Investors cry, “Oh, why, oh why?”
While hedgies dance and sing.
The brokers on their smartphones,
Trade options through the night,
While memes and dreams replace the teams
Who once got finance right.

The holy yield curve flatten’d,
Inflation’s ghost draws near,
The Fed doth ponder every move,
While whispers spark new fear.
The bulls rejoice, the bears bemoan,
Derivatives abound,
Yet somehow still, through Wall Street’s will,
The green shoots can be found.

O traders, lose your caution,
To crypto, SPACs, and gold,
With bubbles rising to the skies,
The FOMO grip takes hold.
Yet ‘midst the chaos ringing,
A lesson still does hum:
When markets roar, there’s always more,
So be sure to take your sum!

O little town of Volatility,
Thy cycles never cease,
From frenzied highs to panic’d sighs,
May profits bring thee peace.
The lessons are eternal,
The risks, we know, are vast,
But every fall, we learn it all:
No bubble’s built to last!

Wreck the Charts with Market Folly

(to the tune of ‘Deck the Halls’)

Wreck the charts with market folly,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!
All-time highs make traders jolly,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!
FOMO buying, no one’s blinking,
Shorts get burned while meme stocks sinking,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!

Hark, the Fed speaks—rates are rising,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!
Wall Street finds it so surprising,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!
Quant funds churn and algos chatter,
Does the data even matter?
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!

Crypto winters, tulip bubbles,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!
SPACs and IPOs bring troubles,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!
Tech stocks tumble, bonds are yielding,
Bears declare their fears unyielding,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!

‘Tis the season, hedge your sorrow,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!
Pump today and dump tomorrow,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!
Greed and fear make markets dither,
Hope your savings stay together,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!

We would like to wish all readers a very Merry Christmas and a happy, peaceful and prosperous New Year.

………….

As you may know, we also manage bespoke investment portfolios for private clients internationally. We would be delighted to help you too. Because of the current heightened market volatility we are offering a completely free financial review, with no strings attached, to see if our value-oriented approach might benefit your portfolio – with no obligation at all:

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…………

Tim Price is co-manager of the VT Price Value Portfolio and author of ‘Investing through the Looking Glass: a rational guide to irrational financial markets’. You can access a full archive of these weekly investment commentaries here. You can listen to our regular ‘State of the Markets’ podcasts, with Paul Rodriguez of ThinkTrading.com, here. Email us: info@pricevaluepartners.com.

Price Value Partners manage investment portfolios for private clients. We also manage the VT Price Value Portfolio, an unconstrained global fund investing in Benjamin Graham-style value stocks and also in systematic trend-following funds.